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Skip to main content. Covid information hub. Find peer support online. Our mission is to deliver a better life for people severely affected by mental illness. Our network of groups, services and advice lines are on hand to get you the support you need. Use your postcode to search your area. Need more information? Become a campaigner. This section looks at what self-harm is and why you may self-harm. Or if you are thinking about self-harming. It explains what support you can get and how to help yourself if you self-harm.
This information is for people who self-harm and their friends, carers and relatives. Self-harm means that you harm yourself on purpose. It is common for people to self-harm in secret.
You might not want others to know, as you might be anxious about what they think. Self-harm can be both distressing for you and your loved ones.
This is because they may not be able to understand why you self-harm. Self-harm is more common in young people who live with depression and anxiety. But it does affect adults without a mental health problem too. Being overwhelmed by feelings is a common reason that people selfharm. Often these will be feelings such as sadness, guilt and hopelessness. You may self-harm because you find it difficult to put your feelings into words. You may find your emotions physically uncomfortable.
Or you may be aware of how you are feeling. But you may feel that your emotions are unmanageable or unacceptable. Physical pain can distract you when you are in emotional pain. For a lot of people self-harm releases tension, brings relief and helps to relive pressure.
You may self-harm to try and show others how you feel. Some people may think that you are attention-seeking. This is a common misunderstanding. Most people try to hide their self-harm behaviours from family and friends. Some people may self-harm to communicate to others how they are feeling. But this might not be the only reason behind the self-harm. You may self-harm if you dissociate, so that you can feel real. Dissociation means that you feel like you are detached from yourself, or from reality.
You may self-harm to punish yourself for feelings or behaviours that you think are your fault. This is a common reason why people self-harm. You may not understand why you feel like this. You may not be able to link your feelings to something that has happened. You may punish yourself through displaced anger. For example, you may be very angry towards a person or about a situation.
But you are unable to tell the person how you are feeling or sort the situation out. Whatever the reason you self-harm, there is support available to help you stop or reduce self-harm. See further down this page for more information. Many people self-harm to deal with distress. You may self-harm often or only every now and again. Some people may dig their fingernail into their thumb to distract themselves from physical pain or fear.
But this is a one-off event. They will stop when the dentist steps away from them. Self-harm only provides temporary relief because the underlying issue is still there. The earlier you get help, the easier it will be to learn other ways of coping and work towards recovery. People who have self-harmed for many years can find it difficult to stop and it can take a lot of work.
You may self-harm to deal with difficulties you face in life, rather than a way of trying to end it. You might feel that you are the only one who self-harms. But there are ways to reach out to people to ask for help. Sharing your experiences can help your recovery. Or make a video or audio recording for them. Decide who you want to tell first. Choose someone you feel comfortable with. Talking to someone else can help you figure out how you feel about it and if you want to tell others. For example, you may want to tell:.
Think about what you are going to say before you begin your conversation. It can help if you know what you want to say and how you want to say it. You could try practicing saying it out loud to hear how it will sound to someone else. Or you could record yourself saying it on a device such as your phone and listening back to it.
Whoever you tell might ask you questions. Think about the questions they may ask and how you may answer their questions. Remember, you only have to tell them information that you are comfortable to share. Try to find the right time to tell someone. Even something as simple as being hungry or tired can make it hard to focus and deal with information.
Choose a time that suits you both. Think about where you are going to tell them. Pick a place where you feel safe and are both comfortable. Let them know. You might tell them because:. Other people may struggle to understand why you self-harm, even some professionals.
Be patient with them. This will help them find the best way to support you. If you want professional help to manage and recover from self-harm you can make an appointment with your GP. You may find it difficult to ask for help. Be honest about why you self-harm. People self-harm for different reasons. This will help professionals to find the right support for you. There are different treatment options, so other treatments might be better for you.
Your GP can support you in the short-term management of self-harm. They will help you, regardless of whether you have a mental illness. Your GP will listen and discuss with you the best treatment options for you. What treatment should I be offered?
Your GP may talk through with you ways to manage your self-harm, such as by making lifestyle changes. They may also suggest you join a support group. They can also give you advice and treatment for minor injuries. But medication may be offered to you to help with symptoms of other mental health conditions. Doctors will think about risk of overdose when prescribing medication.
Referral to specialist mental health team Your GP may think about referring you to a specialist mental health team if:. Mental health services may become responsible for your mental health treatment and care. If you need long-term management for your self-harm, your GP may offer you an assessment with your local community mental health team CMHT. This assessment will be done to help you receive specialist support to reduce or stop your self-harm.
Someone who self-harms a lot might have complex needs. Your care plan explains what support you need to manage and recover from your self-harm. This should contain information such as:. You should have a say about what is written into your care plan. Your family or carers should also be involved if you agree. What is a risk management plan? Risk management should be part of your care plan.
It should look at:. A crisis plan gives you steps to take in a crisis such as a number to call or distraction techniques to try. The aim of a crisis plan is to think about what support you need when you are in crisis. Your mental health team should think about giving you 3 — 12 sessions of talking therapy to help you to stop self-harming. These sessions may start by your therapist helping you to find different ways of coping with painful emotions.
Your therapist should work with you to help you find the reasons why you self-harm. Your therapy should be tailored to your needs. There are many different types of therapy. You may be offered:. Ending care with the specialist mental health team When your treatment and care is due to end professionals should:.
Hoffman recommends keeping a gratitude journal to center you in moments of distress, whether by adding to it or reading previous entries. Calm Harm is a popular option because of its wide variety of prompts and ideas based on what you need when the urge to self-harm arises, such as comfort or distraction. Similarly, Self-Heal prompts you with alternate activities like writing on yourself with a red marker instead of hurting yourself. My Shiny Thing , on the other hand, provides distractions like funny, cute, or exciting videos based on how you rate your current distress.
You might even be able to find help on sites and apps you already use every day. For example, last year Pinterest launched a new product developed with Stanford Brainstorm that directs users who search for self-injury terms to coping exercises that will help them alleviate some of their struggles.
There are a lot of options out there—choose one that you vibe with for whatever reason and lean on it for support when you need ideas. Similar to other distraction-based coping mechanisms on this list, sometimes reaching out to a friend just to talk can be what you need to get out of your own head until the urge passes. The Mayo Clinic even recommends appointing a specific loved one to be the person you contact when the urge to self-harm arises. Reach out to a loved one like your best friend, partner, or parent about your distressing thoughts.
While the suggestions above can be quite useful in helping you cope with intense emotions, they are not an alternative to professional care —especially if you are feeling unsafe. Vasan says. Having a professional in your corner will not only equip you with more tools like these, but it could also give you a safe space to explore your emotions and experiences.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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